Wisdom has never seen the benefit of a good public relations campaign. Allow me to advocate for wisdom and its egoless disposition.

I spent my early life around religious leaders who had no problem proclaiming the Word of the Lord. Frothy sermons on what God wants people to do. Dire warnings on the consequences of failing to heed commands. They’re still a dime a dozen.

I've been thinking about this for a while. As a woman who has spent years of my life dedicated to a partner's success, I've had to clarify for myself and any future partnerships. I've dated men who assumed that their bank account got my juices flowing. For me, that assumption dries them up.

Among the alumni there is debate about whether it was a cult. It definitely was. But not all cults are created equal. This wasn’t Waco.

Hey—Sorry for the misunderstanding after I left. The point was, you don’t need hard labor or strict procedures to join me—Dad and I are your family. You were switched at birth, but we found you, and we’re hoping you’re down to get reacquainted after all this time.

"You've changed my life. You know how I know? Because the things I used to want to do to you, I don't want to do anymore." Given that he was awaiting trial for violent sexual assault, there was a chilling gravitas to his intended compliment.

The next morning he drove me home. As we passed a church, silent tears began to stream down my cheeks. What had I done? I hadn’t felt bad about our time together—until I remembered I was supposed to.

The thing is, sometimes we can fixate so much on someone that they stop being real to us. They become a screen on which we project our desires, obsessions, fears… whatever lives in our own depths.

For months I never bothered to find out why each of my participants was locked up. I assumed most were for drug-related charges. I can’t say why I assumed that. Naiveté probably. Or maybe because the labels “murderer,” “rapist,” or “pedophile,” invoke images of monsters, not the individuals I talk and listen and joke with.